"Daria, Interrupted" a fanfic set in the "Real" Daria Universe by Michelle Klein-Hass and Shelby McGowan from ideas by Shelby McGowan ACT I, PART I INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - NIGHT The song "Crazy" as performed by Willie Nelson fades up, then out. ANGLE ON: DARIA As she lays on her side in the old, uncomfortable twin bed. She is reading "A Critique Of Pure Reason" by Immanuel Kant. The sound of an old, past-prime central air conditioner wheezing and clanking is the loudest sound you hear, until... LOQUETA (O.S.) Yo sucka! Don't you put your hands on me! I'll sue your ass for sexual harassment! Yo' ass is in big trouble! DARIA (sotto voce) Oh god... LOQUETA (O.S.) (louder) AAAAAAAAAGH!!! YOU PIGS!!! AAAAAAAGH!!! DAMMIT!!! LOQUETA'S voice trails off. DARIA (V.O.) Time passes extremely slowly in the 2 East Ward. Aside from the screaming of my dear roommate Loqueta, the only sound you can hear is the damn air conditioner trying to cool the searing air outside. I was never fond of the outdoors, and particularly never fond of muggy hot summer nights, but anything is better than here. Nine days and nine nights in Bedlam. It could make an outdoorsy jock even out of me. To think this all started because of Jane's damn cat... DISSOLVE TO: INT LANE HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MORNING The Lane family cat, Zachary, is wedged in the wall, a few feet from where JANE and TRENT'S dad Vincent knocked a big hole in it. JANE, TRENT, TOM and DARIA are looking at the wall. JANE You know Dad, right...he never finishes a home improvement job he starts. DARIA We're going to get to school on time, right? ZACHARY (O.S.) MROWWWRRRRRR.... DARIA Yeah, that's your Dad alright. I guess that's where you get it from, Trent. TRENT (perturbed) Get what? DARIA Your ability to stay on-task, for one thing. Remember the multimedia project? TRENT Never going to let me live that down, huh? JANE Nope. ZACHARY (O.S.) MWOWWWWRRRRR.... TOM I've got an idea...fry a fish nearby. JANE We tried that. He wouldn't budge. OK, who's got the smallest hands? The four of them extend a hand, and it becomes clear that DARIA'S child-sized hands are the smallest. DARIA Guess who drew the short straw. Me. DARIA sighs and walks towards the hole in the wall. It is clear that DARIA is actually short enough to walk partially into the hole. DARIA enters the hole. INT LANE HOUSE, INSIDE THE WALL - MORNING ANGLE ON: ZACHARY He's wedged in there pretty good. ANGLE ON: DARIA As she reaches her arms towards the big fat cat. ANGLE ON: ZACHARY As he flexes one free paw to strike! CUT TO: INT LANE HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MORNING JANE, TRENT and TOM are watching DARIA wiggle around in the hole, half in, half out, when... ZACHARY (O.S.) MWRAWWW PFFFFFTT!!!!! DARIA (O.S.) OWWWWWWWW!!!!!! TOM That can't be good. TRENT I'll go get the Iodine. JANE You would, wouldn't you. I'll get everything else. CUT TO: INT LANE HOUSE, BATHROOM - MORNING JANE is washing DARIA'S arm off. There are four parallel scratches on it...they look pretty deep and nasty. DARIA Well, at least I got your damn cat free. JANE Mucho appreciado. DARIA No problem. JANE Do you think we should take you to the hospital? These might require stitches. DARIA Please, no more needle-like objects. Hospitals and I just don't get along. I want to just bandage myself up and get to school. JANE Damn. And I have a math test I would love to get out of. DARIA Sorry to disappoint. JANE Anyway, Trent's going to drive us to school to make up some time. We might miss first period but we'll definitely get there for second period. DARIA Great. Mr. O'Neill. At least we can ease into our school day rather than be jarred into it by Mr. DeMartino. CUT TO: INT LAWNDALE HIGH, O'NEILL'S CLASSROOM - DAY Intro to "Crazy" by Seal up and out. Mr. O'Neill is writing notes on the blackboard about Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar." O'NEILL Now, when reading "The Bell Jar," Ms. Plath's own despair which led to her tragic suicide is very apparent. This is a harrowing read. If any of you are suffering from depression, I will give you an alternate assignment. All you have to do is ask after class. SFX: Bell rings. O'NEILL (CONT'D) OK, see you tomorrow after you've read the first chapter. ANGLE ON: DARIA As she turns to leave. The bandages on her left arm are very obvious. ANGLE ON: O'NEILL As his expression turns to alarm. O'NEILL (CONT'D) Daria? DARIA Uh, yeah... O'NEILL Come here, we have to talk. MS: DARIA AND O'NEILL As DARIA walks over to the desk. DARIA Mr. O'Neill, you have no reason to worry about my reading this. I'm not depressed. I'm just a realist. O'NEILL It's not just that, Daria. It's your arm. I saw the bloody bandages. What happened? DARIA I helped Jane get her cat out of a tight spot. And no good deed goes unpunished. O'NEILL You see, Daria, I have had girls in my classroom who...uh, this is kinda hard for me to say without getting the creeps...cut themselves. DARIA Oh brother. I helped rescue a cat. And now you think I practice self-mutilation all the sudden! (sighs) O'NEILL You do fit a profile. DARIA Let me guess. You went to one of those teachers' workshops about teenage depression recently. O'NEILL At the very least, let the school nurse see this. DARIA Fair enough. At least it will get me out of Trig. DISSOLVE TO: INT LAWNDALE HIGH, NURSE'S OFFICE - DAY The SCHOOL NURSE has removed DARIA'S bandages. She is looking at the gashes in DARIA'S arm with a lighted magnifying glass. O'NEILL is close by. SCHOOL NURSE My, those look bad. Deep. And such clean cuts too! DARIA That's cat scratches. Just cat scratches. SCHOOL NURSE A cat scratch isn't this deep or this clean. That looks like a razor cut. O'NEILL (dramatically) Just as I feared... DARIA (bewildered) This isn't happening. This isn't happening. SCHOOL NURSE I'll go get Ms. Li and Mrs. Manson. O'NEILL I'll stay by Daria's side. She needs me. DARIA You make an awful lot of assumptions, Mr. O'Neill. DISSOLVE TO: INT. LAWNDALE HIGH, MS. LI'S OFFICE O'NEILL, MS. MANSON and the SCHOOL NURSE are standing behind DARIA, who is seated in a chair in front of MS. LI'S desk. MS. LI has a very grave expression on her face, as does O'NEILL and the SCHOOL NURSE. DARIA is just bemused. MS. LI Sooooo, Ms. Morgendorffer...what seems to be the trouble? DARIA Uh, I got scratched by a cat. That's all. Nothing sinister about it. MS. LI Are you suuuuuuure? O'NEILL I have seen this before. And after the symposium I took in psychological warning signs recently, I am fairly confident that Daria may be harming herself. MS. LI Let's hear from the expert...Ms. Manson? MS. MANSON Well, Daria has gone through our Self Esteem class, and there have been some reports of Daria exhibiting some trouble signs in the past. I have not examined her thoroughly recently, but she does indeed fit a profile of potential teen depression. MS. LI And also, there is the potential of exposing Laaaawndale High to legal liability if we fail to act in the face of this evidence. And the budget here cannot survive another lawsuit like the one we won on behalf of Mr. DeMartino recently...hmmf! So we must proceed proactively here. I'll contact Ms. Morgendorffer's parents right now. CUT TO: HELEN MORGENDORFFER'S OFFICE - DAY The phone rings. HELEN Marianne, would you please get that, I'm busy reading this contract! MARIANNE I'm on it... MARIANNE picks up the phone. MARIANNE (CONT'D) Hello? You hear muffled speech over the phone, PEANUTS style. MARIANNE (CONT'D) Daria WHAT? More muffled speech. MARIANNE (CONT'D) WHAT? Still more muffled speech. MARIANNE (CONT'D) I'll get Helen on the phone right away. MARIANNE puts the phone on hold. MARIANNE (CONT'D) Helen, it's Ms. Li at the High School. It sounds like an emergency. HELEN A real emergency or something that you can handle on my behalf? MARIANNE (indignant) Mrs. Morgendorffer...it seems like your daughter Daria has made an attempt on her life. If that isn't a real emergency I don't know what is. HELEN blanches and darts over to grab the phone. MONTAGE HELEN MORGENDORFFER'S OFFICE - DAY The beginning of "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osborne is heard, and most of the song plays over the montage. HELEN talks on the phone, looks worried. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. LAWNDALE EXPRESSWAY - DAY HELEN weaves her car in and out of traffic...she's desperately trying to get to DARIA at the High School CUT TO: INT. LAWNDALE HIGH, MS. LI'S OFFICE - DAY HELEN arrives, winded. She runs to DARIA and gives her a hug. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CEDARS OF LAWNDALE HOSPITAL, PSYCH WARD - AFTERNOON HELEN brings DARIA in, and DARIA is examined. DISSOLVE TO: INT CEDARS OF LAWNDALE HOSPITAL, PSYCH WARD - AFTERNOON HELEN is given a slip of paper. ANGLE ON: SLIP OF PAPER It has the address, "Lighthouse Hospital, 233 Lawndale Heights Rd., near the RX Plex." CUT TO: EXT LAWNDALE EXPRESSWAY - AFTERNOON HELEN is driving DARIA to the hospital. DARIA looks at HELEN and grimaces. CUT TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, INTAKE - AFTERNOON DARIA is grilled by several people, some wearing white coats, some wearing "business casual" clothing. One thing you see a lot of is DARIA shaking her head "No." DISSOLVE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - NIGHT "Crazy Train" fades out. You see DARIA, still reading Kant. DARIA (V.O.) So this is how I got here. The worst part of it all is that here I am, a person who prides herself on being an individual, a non-conformist, suddenly conforming to something. A stereotype. I read the papers. I watch the sensationalist news magazines on TV. Even Sick, Sad World was not above doing breathless exposes about teens wrongfully committed to adolescent mental hospitals. I had hoped the day would never come, but it had. Yet another non-conformist teenager committed to a looney bin. My life had just become a cheap cliche. Great. DARIA sighs and flops face down on the bed, casting the copy of Kant to the floor. FADE TO BLACK. END OF ACT I, PART I ACT II, PART I INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY "Young Women's Group" is on. DARIA is sitting there watching the fireworks. LOQUETA It's racism, man. It's racism. Why is it that I'm the only black woman on the ward and I never get my status upgraded, and I always get static from the orderlies? DR. WALDEN Could it be that your behavior is the problem? LOQUETA You don't know, man. You're a White man who probably never grew up with a momma on crack and a daddy who you never even seen! DR. WALDEN Some people come from good homes, some people come from dysfunctional homes. However, this doesn't have to be destiny. You always have a choice to better your life. Anyone have any comments? KATHY This self-pity crap is making me sick. TRISH Yeah. Get over it. DR. WALDEN Do you have anything to say to Loqueta, Daria? DARIA (sighs) No, not really. She has a point, though. The rest of us are white people from the suburbs. We haven't a clue as to what she's been through. DR. WALDEN (sing-songy tone) You're talking like an enabler, Daria. DARIA I don't approve of her behavior. However, we all have baggage from our childhood. Some more than others. Ridicule is no way to help a person through. DR. WALDEN (patronizing) Mmkay. So how have you been, Daria? DARIA I'm stuck here for nothing. Just because teachers at my school suddenly lost all semblance of reason when they saw my arm clawed up by Jane's cat... DR. WALDEN They told us that you have had self esteem issues and that you appear to have been mutilating yourself. DARIA I helped my friend Jane get her cat out of a crawlspace. The thanks I get is claw marks on my arm and a cell in a loony bin. DR. WALDEN Number one, you have a room here, and this is a therapeutic environment, not a DR. WALDEN makes "quote" gestures with his fingers DR. WALDEN (CONT'D) looney bin. DARIA OK, I don't go along with your politically-correct euphemisms. DR. WALDEN Why do you feel the need to judge this place? DARIA I don't belong here. DR. WALDEN Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Daria. DARIA I'm not in denial, dammit! DARIA'S eyes go wide as she realized what she just said. DR. WALDEN Ah. Those are telling words, Daria. Comments, ladies? TRISH You don't have to be ashamed, Daria. This isn't High School. We don't judge, we don't criticize. We help each other get over our problems. KATHY Yeah, Daria. You're safe to say anything here. Cutting makes you feel less pain, doesn't it? I know that's why I do it. DARIA I don't cut. KATHY C'mon Daria, you know you do. Admit it to yourself. Free yourself. DARIA For the last damn time I don't cut! DR. WALDEN Let's go on here. Daria will come out of her denial when she's ready. I just have to remind you that your defensive behavior in Group is going to mean you aren't going to move on to the next level and more privileges. DARIA So that's it. If I don't tell you what you want to hear, I stay on Level One for the rest of my stay. You know, this place operates more like a prison than like a hospital. Then again, I go to Lawndale High, which is operated more like a prison than a school. DR. WALDEN (clearing throat) OK, how are you doing, Kathy? Do you still feel compulsions to harm yourself? KATHY Yeah, but I'm working on it. The meds seem to be working. DR. WALDEN That's good to hear! Well done. DARIA (V.O.) Yep. I hit the nail on the head, didn't I? Say what they want to hear, and you get privileges. Don't say what they want to hear, or call them on their BS, and you stay at Baby Level. Kathy's on her way out of here. She knows how to work it. My problem is this...I don't lie very well and moreover I don't want to learn to lie very well. It's a life skill that certainly has served my mother well, and that Quinn knows and uses to her advantage. Well, maybe I can take a short nap for the rest of Group. DARIA closes her eyes. FADE OUT. FADE IN: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, COMMON ROOM, 2 EAST - EVENING DARIA is sitting on a couch, waiting for her visitors. There is the sound of a buzzer, and she gets up and looks out the door at the entry door. Through the windows, she sees JANE and TRENT. ANGLE ON: DARIA Her eyes light up a little. ANGLE ON: DOOR As JANE and TRENT are let in. DARIA walks over to them, and they all hug. The three of them walk back into the COMMON ROOM. JANE You certainly seem happy to see us. DARIA Right now, I'd be happy to see Upchuck, I'm so bored here. JANE Maybe you are in the right place after all. DARIA Bite me. JANE I'm just making the observation that nobody in their right mind would be happy to see Upchuck. The space cowboy. The gangster of love. Upchuck, who speaks of the pompatus of love. TRENT Hey...speak of the pompatus of love. Great song lyrics. JANE You're a little late to claim it. By about 25 years. Steve Miller. TRENT Damn. The three sit down on a battered, stained, but still overstufffed couch. DARIA Glad you could make it. JANE Of course. Nobody likes being cooped up in a hospital. It's lonely and it's boring. DARIA Yeah. The boredom is the worst. I don't even have privileges yet to watch Sick, Sad World...usually I have to watch Funky Videos because that's on at the same time and Loqueta hogs the TV. TRENT Ooh...bummer. DARIA I mean, I like some of it, but it's just overkill, you know? JANE Word is getting around about you being in here. DARIA (blanches) You didn't tell everyone... JANE Ms. Li made an announcement, requesting that everyone "pray for Daria." DARIA Oh god. JANE God had nothing to do with it. O'Neill takes the blame for this one. DARIA Yep. ANGLE ON: DOOR HELEN and JAKE are seen at the entrance. DARIA (CONT'D) Oh wow...Mom and Dad. They only allow me to have two visitors at a time. So you've got to go back to the lobby. This won't take too long. JANE OK...we'll be back. DARIA Please. DISSOLVE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, ART ROOM - THE NEXT DAY "Low Self-Opinion" by the Rollins Band up and out. DARIA is sitting working with a lump of clay. MS. COLLIER, the art therapist, is winding her way through the room. DARIA begins to see a shape in the clay...the big grey Maine Coon mix cat that was the source of all the trouble she now found herself in. MS. COLLIER Ah, Daria...such a delightful looking cat! I volunteer at a cat rescue when I'm not working here. Maybe when your privilege level goes up I can get you a pass to come visit the rescue... DARIA That will never happen. I don't say what the staff want me to say, particularly what my Doctor here wants me to say. So I'm probably going to be stuck at Level One until someone springs me. MS. COLLIER Why do you say that? DARIA Because I shouldn't be here. I know that's the truth. The reason I am here is because of a colossal misunderstanding. Everyone thinks I am depressed. No, all I am is a sarcastic realist who doesn't walk around with a fake-ass smile and a perky personality. I was clawed on the arm by my best friend's cat, and everyone at Lawndale High jumped to conclusions and thought that I was cutting myself with razors. MS. COLLIER Can I take a look at your arm? DARIA Why should I? MS. COLLIER I work at a cat rescue. I also work at the teen ward of a private psychiatric hospital. Believe me, I have seen both self mutilators and the victims of cat scratches. I can tell the difference. CUT TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, BATHROOM NEAR ART ROOM - DAY DARIA takes off the bandages. The claw marks have scabbed over. DARIA Unlike my disturbed psyche, the wounds seem to be on their way to healing. MS. COLLIER Very funny, Daria. Let me take a look. MS. COLLIER takes out a magnifying glass and looks. DARIA Well? MS. COLLIER You weren't lying. DARIA You see, that's one of the problems. I'm not a good liar. MS. COLLIER Come again? DARIA I can't even lie to myself. Some Queen of Denial I make. MS. COLLIER So the Doctor thinks you're in denial. DARIA In denial about being a chronically depressed self-mutilator with a bad case of low self-esteem. If I didn't have such low self-esteem, a diagnosis like that would really get me down. MS. COLLIER (snickers a little) I think I know what's really going on here. Have you thought of contacting the County Office of the Patient Advocate? DARIA Who's that? MS. COLLIER Well, the person who is there to sort mistakes like this out. DARIA You believe me? MS. COLLIER You said it yourself. You don't know how to lie. FADE OUT. ACT III, PART I INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, OFFICE OF THE CEO - DAY DR. ROBERT MILLS, the head of Lighthouse Hospital, is having an informal meeting with DR. WALDEN. DR. MILLS So, Theo, how's things in the Teen Program? DR. WALDEN Well, there are several boys in 2 West but the population of the girls in 2 East is beginning to slip. We're going to lose a few. DR. MILLS Why? DR. WALDEN Well, there are two who are going to max their health insurance in a couple of days. DR. MILLS Ah, that's too bad. No parents signing their kids out, though, right? DR. WALDEN That hasn't happened in a while. DR. MILLS Good, good. And of course, we have our County patients too... DR. WALDEN Yes, Loquita, Tony and Javier are our little bank accounts, aren't they? DR. MILLS Yes indeed. Any new kids? DR. WALDEN Just Daria Morgendorffer so far. Also another girl, her name escapes me, who's coming in this afternoon. DR. MILLS Ah, that's too bad. Only two new patients? You're slipping, Theo. DR. WALDEN Bob, please. What do I do, pull them out of the mall? DR. MILLS That might not be a bad idea. We'd probably have some legal problems, though. DR. WALDEN Yeah. DR. MILLS What does Daria's case look like? DR. WALDEN Well, for one thing the mother has very good health insurance. We could get a few months out of them. DR. MILLS Good, good. What's your prognosis, then? DR. WALDEN She's a real hard case. She needs intensive therapy to get over some very profound disturbances. She's a self mutilator and possibly suicidal. DR. MILLS No, really. DR. WALDEN Not sure. She might legitimately be disturbed, but I think she might just be a bright but disaffected loner kid. However, gotta stick to the diagnosis. Probably when her insurance runs out, she'll be fine. Probably if she never came here, she'd work out fine. But of course, if she never came here, she wouldn't be a source of income. Both DR. MILLS and DR. WALDEN laugh. DR. MILLS I like your attitude. That's why I put you in charge of the Teen program. DR. WALDEN My attitude has served me well over the years. It's certainly kept my wallet nice and fat. DR. MILLS So, will I be seeing you at the Country Club this weekend? DR. WALDEN Sure. You're buying drinks at the Nineteenth Hole, right? DR. MILLS Of course. FADE OUT. INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - DAY "Another Brick In The Wall, Part II" by Pink Floyd up and out. DARIA is taking a nap. While she sleeps, her roommate packs and leaves. DISSOLVE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - DAY DARIA is still napping. TERRI, one of the Interns, has brought in the new girl. TERRI Daria? It's 2pm, and you're still asleep? DARIA Not much else to do around here. TERRI Your new roommate has arrived. DARIA gets up, rubs her eyes, and puts on her glasses. POV: DARIA As she sees, through bleary eyes, STACY, usually of the Fashion Club. DARIA What are you doing here? STACY What are you doing here? DARIA Haven't you heard? Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill think I'm depressed and that I self mutilate. STACY Well...last night I tried to kill myself. DARIA looks at STACY, thunderstruck. DARIA What happened? STACY Sandi stole my boyfriend, and my mom spilled bleach all over my nice new outfit. I also failed Algebra and English Lit, and I'm definitely going to have to go to Summer School this year. I couldn't take it...it was all just too much. DARIA (sighs) Number one, no guy is worth your life. No outfit is worth your life. You can always study and push your grade up. None of this is worth killing yourself over. STACY starts to cry. DARIA (CONT'D) Oh jeez...Stacy, don't cry. I'll help you through this. You're not alone. DARIA gets up and gives STACY a hug. ANGLE ON: DARIA You see DARIA wince as she hugs the sobbing fashion fiend. DARIA (V.O.) (CONT'D) Although I wish I was still alone here. FADE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, GROUP THERAPY ROOM - EVENING Another day, another Group Therapy session. DARIA is sitting around, looking very disaffected. Predictably STACY is babbling. Oddly, KATHY and TRISH are very interested in what she's saying. STACY So, like, my mom? She does the laundry sometimes and she, like, really doesn't have a clue. Cashman's had a sale, and, like, I found some really cool clothes...you should have seen those Eggplant bells I found! KATHY Ooh...sounds cool! TRISH Yeah! STACY But like, mom put them in and poured bleach all over them!!! TRISH That's so wrong. STACY Yeah...it's cool you understand. I think I'm going to like it here. KATHY Yeah...but they don't allow us out to shop. That's such a bummer. STACY They don't? Oh m'god!!!! STACY begins to hyperventilate, and KATHY and TRISH reach over to comfort her. DARIA clears her throat. DARIA That's no reason to try to kill yourself, though. KATHY and TRISH look daggers at DARIA. TRISH You are so cold. KATHY Yeah, you're mean, Daria! TRISH And you're a brain. You wouldn't understand. DARIA (sighs) God. DR. WALDEN Now Daria, don't be judgmental... DARIA Doesn't this strike you as, well, absurd? Attempting suicide over clothes. To quote Trish, that's so wrong. DR. WALDEN Daria, you don't live in Stacy's skin. DARIA I'm glad that's the case. DR. WALDEN picks up his cell phone. DR. WALDEN Front desk? Yeah, page a couple of orderlies and have them come to the Group Room in 2 East. Yes, I have a girl here who needs some time out in the Quiet Room. No, it's not Loqueta, you don't have to get anyone especially burly. It's Daria. Thanks. DR. WALDEN flips his small, trendy-looking cell phone shut. DR. WALDEN (CONT'D) Daria, I think you need to think about the cruel things you just said. Just because you think you are superior to these other girls doesn't give you the right to ridicule them. DARIA That wasn't ridicule. That was questioning an irrational reaction to very trivial matters. ANGLE ON: DOOR As two white-coated orderlies come in the room. DR. WALDEN points DARIA out, and one takes DARIA'S arms, the other DARIA'S legs. DARIA goes limp, and the orderlies drag her out. CUT TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, CORRIDOR - DAY The orderlies have a better grip on DARIA now, and are walking her briskly to The Quiet Room. CUT TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, QUIET ROOM - DAY DARIA sits in the corner of the padded cell. There are restraints there, but DARIA is not in them. DARIA Well, at least it's a little like home here. This isn't so bad. DARIA slumps down and catches up on her sleep. FADE OUT. FADE IN: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DR. WALDEN'S OFFICE - EVENING MS. COLLIER walks in, angrily. DR. WALDEN is calmly eating a burger at his desk. MS. COLLIER Do you realize you have a patient here for absolutely no good reason at all? DR. WALDEN And who might that be? MS. COLLIER Daria Morgendorffer. She's been here for ten days and the only reason is that her teachers mistook a cat scratch for self mutilation. DR. WALDEN Ask me if I give a damn. MS. COLLIER You should give a damn. Daria could be damaged here from her stay. You could actually cause neurosis and possibly even psychosis if she stays here unnecessarily. DR. WALDEN Again, ask me if I give a damn. MS. COLLIER What do you care about, if not your clients? DR. WALDEN Daria's mother is a lawyer with a nice fat health insurance policy. Daria could stay here for several months more, and keep you in clay and tempera paints. MS. COLLIER I thought this was a place of healing, Dr. Walden. Keeping people who shouldn't be here directly violates the Hippocratic Oath. And it also robs the people who really should be here of the attention they need and deserve. DR. WALDEN Do you like your job, Ms. Collier? MS. COLLIER I like it fine. DR. WALDEN Good. Speak no more of this, then. Remember, having an on-premises art therapist is a luxury here, not a necessity. We could use the money we spend on you and your supplies to buy the school another teacher or the wards a few more orderlies. MS. COLLIER May I speak freely, sir? DR. WALDEN Please. MS. COLLIER You're a really unpleasant little man. DR. WALDEN I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Oh, and isn't your shift over, Ms. Collier? MS. COLLIER Yes it is. I think I'll stop by the cat rescue before I go home...I need to relax. DR. WALDEN Good. You do that. See you tomorrow. MS. COLLIER walks out the door. DR. WALDEN gets up, and goes to a filing cabinet. He pulls a folder. ANGLE ON: FILE FOLDER It's MS. COLLIER'S personnel file. ANGLE ON: DR. WALDEN'S DESK As DR. WALDEN sits down. He grabs a pad of Sticky Notes, and writes "Keep an eye on Collier" on it. He opens the folder and begins to read through it, alternately turning pages and taking bites out of his hamburger. CUT TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, QUIET ROOM - NIGHT DARIA is still taking a nap in the Quiet Room. The picture pushes to the left side, and... FADE TO BLACK. The song "Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendencies is heard over the end credits. END OF ACT III, PART I ACT I, PART II FADE IN: INT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT HELEN, JAKE and QUINN are eating Lite Delite frozen Lasagna, as always. HELEN So do you want to visit your sister in the hospital tomorrow? QUINN No way. HELEN I heard that Stacy is also in the same hospital...isn't she one of your friends? QUINN Mu-ommm...both Daria and Stacy are in a loser place with a bunch of psychos. I'd have to say they're where they belong. HELEN That's no way to talk about your sister, Quinn... QUINN Please don't remind me...I've been trying to forget that she's my sister. And Stacy is...well...a real weirdo. She's always behaved strangely. For a while there she was copying everything I was doing. It's like that movie...Single White Female. And you know how that ended up... JAKE Eew...creepy.... HELEN Jake, we need to stay on-message here. Quinn, you only have one sister, and sisters are forever. And Stacy might be a little disturbed but she's been a great friend to you. ANGLE ON: PHONE SFX: PHONE RINGS QUINN I'll get it...hello? Split-screen between MS. COLLIER in the Art Room and QUINN in the dining room MS. COLLIER Hello, is Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer in? QUINN MOM! It's for you. QUINN passes the phone to HELEN HELEN Helloooo! MS. COLLIER Yes, hello Mrs. Morgendorffer. HELEN Helen. Please call me Helen. MS. COLLIER OK Helen...I'm Audrey Ann Collier, one of the counsellors at Lighthouse Hospital, and I wanted to make you aware that perhaps your daughter Daria is not in here for any good reason. HELEN Well, Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill at Lawndale High told me that Daria was exhibiting signs of self-mutilation, and the professionals at Lighthouse seem to be very emphatic that there is indeed fire under the smoke... MS. COLLIER Helen...I have examined Daria's wounds. They were cat scratches, completely consistent with Daria's story. They were not clean enough to be razor cuts, and would have had far less scabbing. Razor cuts heal cleanly. The four scratches are consistent with the paw of a large cat. HELEN Are you a Doctor, Ms. Collier? MS. COLLIER No, but I am a licensed MFCC and a certified art therapist. I also work at a cat rescue when not at the hospital, so I have seen both cat scratches and the work of self-mutilators. HELEN Still...that nice Dr. Walden said... MS. COLLIER That nice Dr. Walden is only after your insurance money. You're a lawyer, you've certainly have had to deal with insurance fraud before? HELEN Yes, I have represented insurance companies dealing with fraudulent claims... MS. COLLIER So this situation should ring very familiar to you, Ms. Morgendorffer. I strongly suggest you sign a release form and take your daughter out of here. Daria is in fine shape now but a few months here could cause her to be harmed. This is not a place for an intelligent and well-adjusted young woman. HELEN I understand your concern but I take the opinion of a Doctor of Medicine over that of an art therapist. If you can give me documentation, please do so. If not, please let the more than qualified doctors at the hospital do their work. Good evening, Ms. Collier. HELEN hangs up, and the split screen effect cuts out. QUINN So what was that? HELEN The art therapist at the hospital. She let me know of her concerns about your sister. She thinks that Daria doesn't belong in the hospital. QUINN You know she's wrong. HELEN Maybe. Maybe not. I'm going to check on something at Lexis. CUT TO: INT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, HOME OFFICE - NIGHT HELEN boots up her Thinkpad. The familiar "Starting Windows98" screen is seen. The little rising tones are heard, letting HELEN know the modem card is in the slot and recognized. The Thinkpad's desktop is seen, and HELEN opens an Internet connection. She then opens her browser, and goes on to the Lexis/Nexis site. HELEN types in "Lighthouse Hospital Lawndale" in the search box. The results scroll down the screen. HELEN Oh my... There are literally dozens of lawsuits filed against Lighthouse in the past few years. HELEN looks at one of the cases...Walker v Lighthouse Hospital, Dr. Graham Walden, does 1-50 inclusive. She then opens another search box, and types in "Dr. Graham Walden malpractice". Yet another stream of results. HELEN (CONT'D) OK, he never got nailed...but the majority of these cases ended in no-fault settlements. Not a good sign. HELEN closes her browser and logs off the Internet. She seems a little shaken. DISSOLVE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - THE NEXT DAY DARIA has headphones on and is listening to a Walkman. STACY is busy folding and putting away clothes...her parents bought her a few new outfits to cheer her up. STACY Daria? DARIA can't hear STACY...her Walkman is blasting "Butterfly Wings" by Machines of Loving Grace. The sound is loud enough to be audible through the headphones. STACY (CONT'D) (much louder) DARIA???? DARIA hears this, groans, and flicks one side of the headset off her ear. DARIA I thought we had a deal. You don't bug me, I don't bug you. We are both the Invisible Roommates. STACY But Daria...I want to know what you think of this place. DARIA It sucks. Isn't it obvious? STACY Not to me. I dunno...this is the first time I have really been liked for who I am somewhere. I don't get abused by my so called friends, and people really want to hear what I have to say. DARIA Well...you think what you want to think. All I know is that I don't belong here, and that I have got to get out of here before I do. STACY Fine. You do that. DARIA You'd better not rat me out. STACY I won't. Why should I? I'm getting what I want out of this place. You aren't. DARIA Good. Now we can go back to the Invisible Roommate policy. DARIA puts the other headphone over her ear and turns the volume up even louder. INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, CAFETERIA STACY, KATHY and TRISH are all eating salads and talking between bites. KATHY So, my mom just brought the newest issue of Waif magazine for me! It looks like it's going to be white, white and more white for the Summer! STACY White? Oh god, that makes you look like you're 10 pounds heavier than you are! What are they thinking? TRISH You know, you could do what I do. What goes down doesn't necessarily have to stay down. STACY You don't mean? TRISH Yeah. Barf it all up. STACY EEW! TRISH Works for me. I've been 98 pounds since I started High School and I haven't gained an ounce. STACY Is that what you're in for? TRISH Yeah. But you just have to be sneakier here. They don't allow you to go to the bathroom immediately after you eat. So I keep baggies in my room. KATHY AND STACY That is so gross! KATHY Yeah, you'd better not do that around me. TRISH Well, the first chance I get, I throw the barf bag out. I've never had to wait more than a couple of minutes. The doctors, the nurses, the orderlies, the counselors, the aides...they never suspect a thing. STACY That's still so gross. I'd rather diet more than do that. TRISH You don't want your parents to think you're anorexic, now do you? That would mean you'd stay here longer. STACY What if I told you I liked it here? TRISH AND KATHY No way...you like it here? STACY Yeah. I've got friends here, people listen to my problems, the salads are nice, and school is easy. TRISH I'm at Level 4...I should be let go soon. KATHY Yeah, and I only have three more days to go on my hold. STACY So you both want out of here, right? KATHY Yeah. Big time. TRISH Uh-huh. STACY So where do you live? KATHY Oakwood. TRISH Riverdale. STACY Well...I guess that means when you go, there's like no way we'll be able to keep in touch. TRISH Not necessarily. Lawndale's not too far away, and besides, I'm going to be coming here for evening Group just about every week. STACY That's good. KATHY Did you see that cute orderly who just started here...what a babe. STACY AND TRISH You mean Michael? Ooh, yeah, he's cute! DARIA walks by, listening to the blather only briefly before finding a table in the corner. She has a copy of "Animal Farm" by George Orwell and her Walkman, as well as a tray of food. She is about to sit down and eat, when TERRI Ok girls, time for PE... DARIA grimaces. DARIA Maybe I'll wind up looking like them when I'm done here. She takes her full tray with uneaten food on it and puts it in the bussing rack with a heavy sigh. FADE OUT. END OF ACT I, PART II ACT II, PART II INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - LATE NIGHT Music: "The Saint" by Orbital up. DARIA is asleep. STACY is also dead to the world. ANGLE ON: DOOR There's someone walking through the open door. ANGLE ON: DARIA As the figure walks closer to DARIA. ANGLE ON: PERSON As it becomes clear the figure is MS. COLLIER. As DARIA stirs awake, MS. COLLIER makes a shushing gesture. DARIA gets up, slowly and quietly. She grabs her duffle bag, and her book bag. That's the only stuff she brought. She puts her Walkman into the duffle. ANGLE ON: STACY STACY flops over, but she is still sound asleep. DARIA and MS. COLLIER sneak out. CUT TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, CORRIDOR - LATE NIGHT MS. COLLIER uses her badge to open up some of the normally closed doors and avoid checkpoints. It also becomes clear that DARIA did not get a chance to tie her bootlaces...her boots flop around on her legs limply. ANGLE ON: DARIA As she stumbles but ultimately doesn't get tripped up by her boots. DARIA takes her boots off and tucks them under her arm. CUT TO: EXT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, SERVICE ENTRANCE - LATE NIGHT MS. COLLIER and DARIA hustle out the SERVICE ENTRANCE. They run to MS. COLLIER'S vintage VW Bug. INT MS. COLLIER'S CAR - LATE NIGHT As they drive off. Cut "The Saint" off as MS. COLLIER puts in a CD, and "Sugar Magnolia" by the Grateful Dead plays. DARIA So, this means you'll probably lose your job. MS. COLLIER That's ok...the cat rescue needs me more than the hospital does at this point. This was worth it. I didn't get anywhere with Dr. Walden, I didn't get anywhere with your Mom, so it was time for direct action. DARIA You know this might also get you in trouble with the law, right? MS. COLLIER So what? I have been in jail before. Let's see...Diablo Canyon, nuclear tests in Nevada, the Oprah Winfrey veggie libel law trial...I was arrested all those places during protests. Sometimes you have to lay your freedom on the line for a good cause. DARIA So I'm your next good cause, huh? MS. COLLIER Looks like. FADE OUT FADE IN: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - MORNING STACY wakes up, and notices that DARIA is not in the adjacent bed. ANGLE ON: STACY As her eyes widen. STACY Oh my god...Daria's gone!!! STACY puts on her bath robe over her nightgown and runs out into the hallway. STACY (CONT'D) Someone! Anyone! Daria's gone! An ORDERLY runs over. ORDERLY Calm down, calm down...Daria Morgendorffer is not in the room you share? STACY She's not there...I saw her when I fell asleep, then when I woke up...she wasn't there! ORDERLY (gets on walkie-talkie) Uh, security, we have an AWOL situation...Daria Morgendorffer turned up missing just now. (pause) OK, sure, will gather the rest of the 2 East security staff...yeah, you're right, this is really bad...no excuses. See you in a few. The ORDERLY clicked off his walkie-talkie and turned back to STACY. ORDERLY (CONT'D) Thanks for letting us know about this. It's only 5 AM, you should go back to bed. We'll find out what's what. STACY Thanks. STACY walks back to her room. INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, SECURITY HQ - MORNING The room is tense. The entire night shift is being held over to be interrogated. ANGLE ON: DOOR As DR. WALDEN walks in. His face is bright red with anger. DR. WALDEN This is an outrage! We haven't had a successful AWOL in two years, and now our perfect record has been shattered! SECURITY CHIEF Please, Dr. Walden... DR. WALDEN What happened to our hourly bed checks? What happened to patrols? What happened to just doing your damn job???? SECURITY CHIEF Uh, um... DR. WALDEN YOU are FIRED for this!!! DR. WALDEN turns on his heels and walks out. CUT TO: EXT CAT RESCUE BACKYARD - DAY MS. COLLIER and DARIA are adding kibble to a big trough. There are cats all over the place. MS. COLLIER Come and get it! A literal avalanche of cats runs towards the trough. Cats swarm it, some up on top of it, some hanging off the sides. DARIA They're certainly enthusiastic. MS. COLLIER It's one of the highlights of their day. There's seven more feeding stations to fill, let me show you the rest of the house. CUT TO: INT CAT RESCUE LIVING ROOM - DAY MS. COLLIER drags a wheelbarrow with two big bags of Kitty Kibble in the payload. DARIA walks around, collecting empty food dishes. DARIA So all these dishes need to be filled? MS. COLLIER Yep. CUT TO: INT CAT RESCUE KITCHEN - DAY The cats are fed, and now it's time for a little break. MS. COLLIER is making coffee, and has a tray of muffins out. DARIA You know, it's probably just a matter of time before the cops arrive. MS. COLLIER I know. Have some of this coffee...it's 100% Kona. DARIA Nice. MS. COLLIER Yeah, I usually live on veggies, rice, beans and day old bread, but you have to treat yourself sometimes. Oh yeah, the muffins are special too...made at the Good Karma bakery with no dairy or eggs. I don't eat animal products. DARIA So I take it milk for my coffee is out of the question? MS. COLLIER You have your choice: almond milk or soy milk. DARIA Cool. Let me try the almond milk then. CUT TO: INT HELEN MORGENDORFFER'S OFFICE - MORNING HELEN has just gotten in. It's 8am, just before MARIANNE comes in. The phone rings. HELEN Hello, Helen Morgendorffer Esq. speaking. (beat) What??? Daria isn't in the hospital???? She's gone AWOL??? How did this happen? Oh, you don't know, huh? I'll be right over. Yes, I will take time out of my extremely busy schedule to make sure you folks are on-task and FIND MY DAUGHTER! Of course, bring the police into this!!! HELEN slams the phone down, scribbles a hasty note, then grabs her briefcase and rushes out the door. DISSOLVE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, LOBBY - DAY The hospital lobby is bustling with media, police and staff. HELEN is in the center of the cyclone, basically attempting to run things. Sweeping through the room in his long white coat, DR. WALDEN rushes right up to where HELEN is. DR. WALDEN Ms. Morgendorffer, you are turning my hospital into a madhouse! HELEN Think of what you just said. And consider that two out of the three major networks, plus two independents and CNN are represented here. DR. WALDEN What I'm trying to say is that this is unseemly. Let law enforcement and the staff handle this! HELEN I don't trust you to handle this, Doctor. Now have you checked out which staff have shown up today and which have not? DR. WALDEN That's underway. Let me call Human Resources. DR. WALDEN gets on his cell phone. DR. WALDEN (CONT'D) Yes, Human Resources? Who on the day shift showed up today? Uh huh...uh huh... HELEN (interrupting) Have you ever thought to find out if Ms. Collier has shown up today? DR. WALDEN How about Ms. Collier...she hasn't? Thank you very much. DR. WALDEN hangs up the phone. HELEN There's your culprit. DR. WALDEN Now I have to figure out where that damn cat rescue is. HELEN How many cat rescues could there be in a small suburb like Lawndale? There's Kitty Heaven and that's about it. DR. WALDEN Ah. Kitty Heaven. I think I remember her saying something about that. HELEN Well, what are we waiting for, then? Where's that police captain? Captain Flagg! Damn public servants... DISSOLVE TO: EXT CAT RESCUE FRONT YARD - DAY DARIA and MS. COLLIER are doing some puttering around the yard, when the sound of sirens is heard, faintly at first, then louder. MS. COLLIER Well, sounds like fate is calling us. DARIA Thanks, Ms. Collier. I really appreciate your sticking your neck out for me. MS. COLLIER No problem. It's what had to be done. DARIA and MS. COLLIER walk back into the house. CUT TO: INT LAWNDALE HIGH, AUDITORIUM - DAY The coverage of the search for DARIA is being shown on the projection TV screen. PAN THROUGH AUDIENCE You can see many of the regular characters in the crowd. Jane is here, along with her elder brother Trent. Brittany is silently praying. Kevin is rapt, watching everything unfold on the screen. Jodie and Mack are holding hands. The faces of the students are solemn and worried. CUT TO: INT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY JAKE is sitting on the couch in his bathrobe. There is a bottle of vodka on the living room table. He stares at the TV, and a silent tear rolls down his cheek. DISSOLVE TO: EXT CAT RESCUE FRONT YARD - DAY Several police cars drive up, along with a Lexus containing HELEN and a Mercedes containing DR. WALDEN. Soon the sound of choppers pierces the air, as both news and police helicopters take their place circling around the Cat Rescue. POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN Come out peacefully. We don't want any trouble. FADE TO BLACK. END OF ACT II, PART II ACT III, PART II FADE IN: INT CAT RESCUE LIVING ROOM - DAY DARIA sits in an easy chair, with four cats surrounding her. MS. COLLIER is pacing back and forth. DARIA Perhaps it's time for you to come out. You really don't want the cops breaking in and whisking me out like Elian Gonzalez. And you definitely don't want them taking out their frustrations on you or the cats. MS. COLLIER I suppose you're right. But hell, I want them to work for it. I want a standoff. DARIA Do you want to go down like Bonnie Parker? MS. COLLIER That wouldn't be so great. MS. COLLIER goes to the window. CUT TO: EXT CAT RESCUE FRONT YARD - DAY ANGLE ON: FRONT WINDOW As you see MS. COLLIER hold up her hands. MS. COLLIER I'm not armed! POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN Come out and bring the girl. MS. COLLIER I did this because nobody would listen. Daria doesn't belong in a mental hospital. She's a healthy girl who has it together. But Dr. Walden didn't listen. All he cares about is how much money he can extort from families. And he had the wool pulled over Mrs. Morgendorffer's eyes. POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN We'll talk later. Come out with your hands up and bring the girl. MS. COLLIER I don't want to see any guns out. I'm not armed, I can't harm you, so no guns. POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN That's fair. The Policeman with the bullhorn motions to the officers with their guns drawn to holster their weapons. Some do, some just hold them pointed down. ANGLE ON: DOOR As it slowly opens. MS. COLLIER walks out, hands up. So does DARIA. HELEN runs to embrace her daughter. MS. COLLIER gets down on her knees and lays down prone on the grass. As HELEN escorts DARIA away from the action, several policemen swarm MS. COLLIER, holding her down while she is handcuffed. DARIA Isn't that a bit excessive, Mom? HELEN Well, they don't know for sure that she isn't packing something. But yeah, that's a lot of cops to handle one middle-aged woman. DARIA and HELEN go back to HELEN'S car. DR. WALDEN approaches. DR. WALDEN Ahem, Morgendorffer ladies. DARIA I'm not coming back. DR. WALDEN Your treatment is not complete, Daria. HELEN I have the right to discharge my daughter at any time, am I correct? DR. WALDEN This is true. HELEN Good. I intend to discharge my daughter until I can get to the bottom of this whole situation. DR. WALDEN You're making a big mistake, Mrs. Morgendorffer. HELEN To the contrary, Dr. Walden. I think perhaps you, most of your staff and certain faculty members of Lawndale High were the ones who made the mistake. CUT TO: INT LAWNDALE HIGH, AUDITORIUM - DAY The students who are watching the event on the big screen are cheering as DARIA gets into the car with HELEN. CUT TO: INT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY JAKE is standing up and cheering, and at the same time is swigging out of the bottle. CUT TO: INT LAWNDALE HIGH, AUDITORIUM - DAY Truck in on SANDI, QUINN and TIFFANY, who are sitting in a corner of the auditorium. SANDI Quinn, isn't that your mom with...that girl you live with? QUINN Don't remind me. TIFFANY This is....so....moving.... QUINN (sardonically) Yeah. Like I would love to just move out of Lawndale and go far, far away. EXT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, FRONT LAWN - DAY Already, news Nuke Trucks have shown up outside. CUT TO: INT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY JAKE sees the news vans. ANGLE ON: JAKE As one word escapes his lips... JAKE Eep! JAKE runs upstairs with the bottle of vodka. CUT TO: EXT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, FRONT LAWN - DAY As HELEN drives up the driveway with DARIA. HELEN opens the car door, and is besieged with MEDIA. HELEN Can't you vultures find some other family to harass? Get off my property or I'll sue the lot of you. The MEDIA back off a little as HELEN spirits DARIA into the house. INT MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY JAKE is dressed, and the vodka bottle is back in the liquor cabinet as HELEN and DARIA walk in. JAKE My girl is OK! HELEN Spare us both. Daria, you are in very big trouble. Ms. Collier is going to be facing felony charges...the Little Lindbergh Law kicks in with a kidnapping. Was this your idea? DARIA I'd say it was a collaboration. HELEN I want the truth right now. Did you try to harm or kill yourself before you went to school that day? DARIA No. I helped Jane get her cat out of the crawlspace behind the living room wall. I'm being honest with you, Mom...why would I lie? HELEN I don't know. Mental illness still holds a stigma. DARIA I'm stigmatized regardless of whether I did or did not mutilate myself. Everyone knows what happened to me. Everyone knows I was in a psychiatric hospital. Whether I was there legitimately or whether I was there by mistake doesn't matter. I was in a psychiatric hospital for 12 days, Mom. Nothing can change that. So again, Mom, why the hell would I lie? The damage has already been done. HELEN I see what you mean. I guess you wouldn't lie at this point. DARIA And you know I'm a bad liar. I can't lie with a straight face. You know when I'm telling the truth or not. HELEN Yes....very true. You'd be a criminal defense attorney's worst nightmare. HELEN smiles and goes into the kitchen. HELEN (CONT'D) You probably didn't have breakfast, did you? And it's almost lunchtime. Want me to warm up some lasagna? ANGLE ON: DARIA As she suppresses a laugh. DARIA Sure. Lasagna will be fine. DISSOLVE TO: INT LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DR. WALDEN'S OFFICE - INDETERMINATE "Free" by Vast is playing in the background A pair of disembodied hands set a file folder down on the desk, and opens it. The first page shows a Polaroid picture of DARIA, and the text on the page says, "Daria Morgendorffer never went back to Lighthouse Hospital. Any thought of studying Psychology in College has been completely purged from her mind as a result of this incident." The disembodied hand turns the page. The second page shows a Polaroid picture of MS. LI, MS. MANSON, the LAWNDALE HIGH SCHOOL NURSE and MR O'NEILL. The text on the page says, "Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill were sued by Helen and Jake Morgendorffer on their daughter Daria's behalf for their hasty judgment of her sanity. The budget of Lawndale High School will have to weather another legal settlement." The disembodied hand turns the page. The third page shows a newspaper clipping of Dr. Walden and Dr. Mills being led off in handcuffs from Lighthouse Hospital. The headline reads "Hospital administrators in insurance fraud scandal." A sticky note on the newspaper clipping reads "Dr. Walden and Dr. Mills are now on a lengthy vacation at the State Hotel, Casino and Penitentiary. They are also on permanent vacation from their licenses to practice Psychiatry." The disembodied hand turns the page. The fourth page shows a Polaroid picture of STACY. The text on the page says, "Stacy Rowe continues to be a patient at Lighthouse Hospital. However, her status has been raised to Level 4, and she is considered trustworthy enough to go on short, supervised visits to Cranberry Commons to shop." The disembodied hand turns the page. The fifth page shows a Polaroid picture of MS. COLLIER flashing the "V for Victory" sign. The text on the page reads, "Since Helen refused to prosecute, all charges were dropped against Audrey Collier. Ms. Collier did not return to Lighthouse Hospital, but has signed a million-dollar book deal with Simon and Schuster for her story. She intends to give half of the money to the Kitty Heaven Cat Rescue, and half to PETA. The disembodied hand turns the page one last time, to reveal a picture of Daria as a doctor. The camera zooms in on the picture, then it pushes to the left side of the screen as the credits roll. "Free" by Vast plays until end of credits. FADE TO BLACK. END OF ACT III, PART II